Sonata of stuff
by Milleniumenjimon
Summary: Bloom goes on a quest to prove her love to Diasp-I mean Sky while Darcy and Tecna come with.
1. Gritty Kitty litter

Chapter 4444: The taste of beer!

Alfea; the refine academy of pixie magix. For centuries they have trained princesses, destined figureheads and transvestites (the last item is kind of restricted from the record) in the art of potion making and magical powers.

By this point it's pretty obvious so let's skip that and go to the story.

Bloom was self loathing and angsting in the courtyard holding a small rubber ball with Brandon's (or is it Sky?) face on one side while flinging it straight to the ground. She caught it than repeat it over and over. This often driven many students insane, as the constant repetitive sound of that ball hitting the ground than her catching it was quite maddening.

Deciding enough was enough the headmistress tried to lay down the law and walked up to the young red head. But was driven away by the annoying sound, so she just sent in Stella to steal the ball.

"Hi," Stella said as she nervously walked behind her friend. "How are you doing?"

"Daddy won't talk to me,' Bloom said depressed. "WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME IKARI-PAPA-SAMA?!"

_She's been reading neon genesis Evangelion again,_ Stella thought. "Besides that, is there anything else bothering you. Like, say, having a bastard boyfriend that betrayed you so badly that you so badly that you have to pound that f'ing ball into the f'ing ground every second?"

Bloom sighed. She finally stopped bouncing the ball (much relief to the school) and curled into a ball. "On one hand I've been so hurt after the day of the royals, I never want to show my face again. Even just die but on the other I want everything the way it was before than."

"Well maybe if you did something to clear your head, join the art class or something." Stella said.

"You're right." Bloom shot up, the background disappeared except for Stella and a few poor students who were crushed beneath the large Japanese characteristics that spelled out _yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi_. "I will go out and destroy the most power evil ever! I will kill Dracula!" With that Bloom donned a flowing cape and wield a whip while walking past a few crushed students behind.

Plus Stella was saying somethings. "That's not what I meant!"

"I will prove my love for Diaspro!" bloom said as she walked through the front gates.

"Don't you mean Brandon/Sky?" Stella shouted.

"That's what I said!" Bloom said. Wondering into the sunset, unaware of her semi-epic journey ahead.

"Shouldn't we follow her?" Flora appeared out of no where. Stella said nothing but jerked her thumb towards the still killing students sign behind her.

"What does that mean?" Musa asked, as she too appeared out of no where.

"Let's see." Timmy magically appeared. "It means **no climax, no resolution, no meaning**."

"Like this story?" Stella asked.

"Pretty much, but it is shorten into a popular form is called yaoi." Timmy was tackled to the ground, all of the air was knocked out of his lungs. "Nein, Raven!"

"God, help us all." Tecna said.


	2. Bud Wiser Er

Chapter pong: 9 ways to a really cool death!

Bloom have been on her epic question for quite a while - about 10 minutes - when she had realized one thing.

She didn't know where Dracula is, how to kill him. Or why she forget her friends back at the academy, which might help later on. She also forgot to pack some clean underwear and a juice boxes.

Reaching into her cloak she pulled out the **seven tips for vampire hunting** _Copyright Leon Belmont_ and sat on a stump.

Tip 1.

_Learn to pack a whip, some holy water and hearts, a lot of hearts._

Tip 2.

_Belmonts are brave, courageous and fear nothing. But assuming that a normal person is holding this book use the one thing that we Belmonts never used. Common sense._

_If there's a huge fire breath demon with a "die motherf'er" gleam in his eyes. RUN AWAY!_

Tip 3.

_When confronted by a Incubus/Succubus, remember to use condoms._

Tip 4.

_Always remember to carried around a cool speech, that way if the situation needs it you will come out on top._

Tip 5.

_Go for the clock tower, every major important thing is in that stinking clock tower._

Tip 6.

_Death is always around, just walk by him and you'll do fine. Unless he starts throwing stuff around that your just basically a blood puddle._

Tip 7.

_Rule of thumb, if it's still moving whip it!_

"Vow, I'v learn so vuch," Bloom said while putting the book away. "Okay, I'll stop talking like that." Bloom that started to ponder where would the most evil being would be?

The book said that all major things happen in a clock tower, and the most evil tower she knew of is Cloud Tower. Using her amazing equation skills she deduced that _clock tower_ minus _clock_ equle _tower_ plus _Cloud_ equle _Cloud Tower_ equle **Dracula**!

Bloom once again set off on her quest yet again with a more firm goal in mind.

Sort of.

Another Tuesday evening at Cloud Tower. The three Trix sisters were doing their usual Tuesday routines, which were complaining about their lives, seeing who is more pathetic and wonder why they still go on besides for being evil.

Without much warning except for the blaring klaxons and signs reading "Intruder" Bloom enter the room. Icy, Darcy and Stormy all looked up at her while Bloom stared back.

"Uh, hello?" Bloom said. "Can anyone point out which way is Count Dracula's place? I want to kill him so I can prove my love to Diaspro."

"Did you just say Diaspro?" Darcy asked.

"No, I said Brandon/Sky."

The three witches were silent while they exchanged looks than stared at Bloom.

"Well, I love to break this to you, Pixie," Icy said. "But the big D's dead."

"Oh, well who's the most evil being in the universe?" Bloom asked.

"Right." Darcy said. "Uh, there's a vampiress named Countess Carmilla who lives in Dracula's old place."

"Thanks." Bloom turn and continued her quest.

The Trix sisters just stayed the way they were before Bloom interrupted. "Did you just help someone?" Stormy asked.

"Depends on how you view it." Darcy replied.

They remained silent for a moment. "Okay, you're going with her as punishment." Icy said.

Darcy sighed as she pulled herself out of her chair and wonder off to the exit. "I better get a cool part in this!"


	3. Yes, there's a devil in my soup

Prelude # 57: Rando of stupidity.

"What a lousy night for a curse." Bloom had left Cloud Tower and was now traveling through the dangerous forest surrounding the witchery academy, missing the fact that there's a safe and nice path in front of the main gates. The Belmont power was beginning to rub off onto her, which may not be a good thing.

Darcy stood there a feet away hidden by a tree trying to figure out a way to both help and not get caught doing so - which will ruin her reputation. -

_I'll simple disguise myself as one of her pixie friends,_ Darcy thought. She smiled as she used her magix to transform herself into...

DUN-DUN-**_DAH_**!

"Aw, crap on a crutch!"

Bloom was startled. She ready herself in a badass pose with her whip as the bushes moved, not really wanting to take the risk she decided to crack the whip.

"OW!" Tecna shouted as she staggered out the bushed with a shoulder wound. "Watch it with that, would you."

"Uh..." Bloom try to remember her friend's name. It was on the tip of her tongue. So close, yet so far. "Techno?"

Tecna's shoulders fell deftly. "It's Tecna."

"Well, I'm glad you're here." Bloom said. "I'm on a question to defeat Carmilla, to prove my love to the princess."

Tecna raised a brow. "Did you just say 'princess'?"

"No, I said prince. I defiantly said prince. Prince, prince, prince. Love that Princess." Bloom looked around for a way out of this situation, that's when she noticed a sign. She wonder over to it with a very reluctant Tecna in tow.

Cloud Tower - East.

Alfea - west.

Short way to Castlevania - north.

Long way to Castlevania - south.

Bloom looked at the sign for a minute thinking of the best course of action. When she came to a decision she turn to Tecna and announced. "We head south."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me Tecna, we head _south_. Just to make this more epic-y, for my love." Bloom than went into a swooning period where a mental picture of Diaspro appeared in her mind.

"Can't we just go the shorter way?"

"No, longer is good. Making it feel like a saga."

Bloom than marched off to the south while a crying Tecna in tow. "Why don't you listen to reason, it's more logical to go the **short** way."

"Tecna, you may not know this but there's an emotion called love that over powers logic."

"Hey, hey, eyes up here."

--(Un)--

"Bloom has been gone for a while." Tecna said.

"You want to go find her?" Musa said.

"I'm afraid I don't follow, what do you mean."

"You know the rule." Stella said. "Mention if one of us is missing than you have to go find her."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes," everyone said.


	4. Slurpee for seven writers in the north 7...

This is chapter X: To serve man, it's a cook book!

_**Welcome to Silent Hill.**_

Where all dreams come true.

"What an interesting place." Bloom said as she looked around the fog-choked streets. "Now to find Countess Carmilla."

"This isn't Castlevania! Stupid pixie!" Tecna shouted. "Does this look like a _castle_?"

Bloom was silent in thought. "Kind of."

"No, it's a town! A normal, if strangely very foggy, town! Not a castle, and not castlevania." Tecna was out of breath afterwards. "Okay, now let's go find that path to castlevania."

"Why did we go the long way?" Bloom wined as she and Tecna walk down the street.

"**BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO MAKE THIS MORE EPIC!**"

"Well I didn't realize how heavy and smelly this cape can get." Bloom said.

"Than take it off?"

"But it wouldn't be so epic, now would it." Bloom looked around, she noticed a antique store. Walking in she figure maybe there's another, much lighter, cape inside.

Behind the counter was a tall man in a lovely three piece suit with a old fashion hat and round glasses. Bloom didn't seem to notice the pointed devil's tail that came from behind the man.

"Good evening, miss." The man said politely. "Is there anything I can get you tonight?"

"I need a cape that doesn't feel like it's about to crush my shoulders and doesn't smell like cat piss." Bloom said.

The salesman nodded as he looked over the girl. "I see, but instead of a cape how about this red coat," he held up a long trenchcoat. "It's more dashing and quite impressing."

"I'll take it." Bloom said. Intently throwing away the cape and taking the coat, she payed and left to find Tecna missing.

Well that wasn't true as Tecna was actually right next to the door, Bloom was even staring right at her but manage to miss her. Until she looked a little "lower".

"There you are Tecna! Come on, we still got a quest to finish for my beloved Diaspro."

"Don't you mean 'Brandon/sky'?"

"I said Brandon/sky."

"Why can't I go back to being invisible? Hey!"

"I wasn't looking." Bloom said as she removed the X-ray specs.

--_Ssss_**SEGA**!---

"Excuse me," Timmy said as he open the door. He saw the head master of Red fountain dressed as Gendo Ikari (right down to the tent fingers), the headmistress of Alfea dressed as Gendo Ikari's right hand man, Ms. Gryphon dancing around in a go-go cage in a bunny outfit with a pile of money on the desk. "Is it Monday already?"

"What is it?" The head master asked.

"Oh, right. Castlevania has risen again and there is no Belmonts around to stop it's horrific evil from corrupting the surrounding area."

"Well, than send Brandon, he's got to be good for something." The head master said. "And remember, this has nothing to do with the Japanese Mafia."

"Not a thingy-iggy." The Alfea Headmistress said.

"The Mexican Wrestling Federation?" Timmy asked.

"Knee deep."

--983-EVIL--

Tecna had tracked Bloom's energy signature to this strange small town full of fog. On the way she had seen a broke down car at the gas station, and a very unusual creature that appeared as a human with unnatural pale skin and almost death-like appearance.

This of course resorted in Tecna freaking out and trying to bash the creature with a rusted iron pipe into a pile of bloody slush. When she realized that she had killed a human being (kind of) she just walked away whistling while pretending nothing had happened.

"Okay," Tecna said as she looked at the device she made. "It says that Bloom is about a few-" she stopped when she noticed the historical society building. "Must resist the urge, must find closet lesbian." Tecna looked over to the building, despite the dark aura, Lovecraft atmosphere, the creepy air and the dead body hanging from the tree it called to her.

Tecna than laughed and looked up to the sky. "Nice try, but I have more will power than anyone thinks. Huh?" She looked down to see her hand "munching" it's way towards the building. "Stop that!"

--867-5309--

"Holy crap!" Bloom shouted. Tecna, fake Tecna, looked around expecting a major attack but instead saw the redhead holding a bloodied newspaper that was on the fence full of hanging corpses. "It says here that Blue Creek Apartment had lowered their prices to 120 a month."

"Bloom, there is more impo- 120 you say." Tecna said as she took the paper. "Hmmm, I'm going to have to come back here later."

"This town is perfect for me and Diaspro." Bloom said as the mental image of them in wedding dresses came into her mind. Than little Dialooms were running around their new apartment.

"Shouldn't we go on our quest now?"

"Right, Stella."

"It's Tecna."

Bloom shrugged as she threw the paper aside. "What ever, you both have the same bust size."

--o.o--

"Okay, I can understand why you came with," Prince Sky (who was formally known as "Brandon") said to Brandon (who was formally known as Prince Sky). "But why is _she_ here?"

"You own me a daring quest." Diaspro snapped. "After going out with that floozy Bloom, you should be happy I haven't nailed your XXXXX to the XXXXing XXXXXX walls of your XXXX than took that and shoved it onto a stick!"

"Bloom is not a floozy." Sky snapped as he wonder over to the train car's window. "And this quest isn't for you, it for her."

Brandon raised a brow. "You do _know_? Don't you?"

"Know about what?" Diaspro demanded.

"That..." Hearts and cupids with Stormy's face on them surrounded the dense prince. "We're in love!"

"Uh. No." Brandon said dryly. "The fact she's a classic case of closet lesbian."

"She loves me, she loves _mmmmeeeeee_!" Sky said as he prance around the car.

"Really?" Diaspro said in a smug way. Than saw Sky bounce around naked with badly done tattoo of riven's name on his back and a Agumon plushie. For some reason Diaspro became very depressed.

"Yep, he'll be the first to die." Brandon said dryly. Now Sky was dancing around and singing Rolling Stone's _shattered._

"Stupid apocalypse now reference."


	5. Here's Jonny!

Chapter 1: Nosferastu, Neptu.... (-cough-Ne(mumble)-cough-).

Oh .

When we last had left our (semi-)heroes they were... Doing something, I wasn't paying attention, you'll figure it out.

Near the Silent Hill train station Darcy had finally dropped her illusion and yet Bloom still hadn't quite noticed as they continue onward with their quest. Instead they were waiting for the 10:43 train that goes to Castlevania, Darcy was sitting on the bench while Bloom was playing with the soda machine as it ate her money.

"Evil being," Bloom snapped. "DIE!" She started to whip the machine, sending bits of plastic and metal everywhere. A soda can fell out and Bloom shrugged, she grabbed it and chugged it down. Darcy was kind of scared at the whip-wielding redhead's temper, it was actually worse than Stormy's.

"Is there a reason you are so..." Darcy wanted to choose her words carefully, she didn't want to be like the vending machine. "Vibrantly emotional?"

"I'm the what in the what and where?"

"You're angry. Very, very angry!"

"I guess it can be traced back to last Wednesday," Bloom stared while grabbing another soda. "Or maybe Tuesday... Nope defiantly Wednesday."

"Don't you mean something like _it happened in my childhood_ or stuff like that?"

Bloom finished the soda and tossed it aside. "Nope, I had a good childhood and Musa stole my best dress. Than spilled some chocolate on it too."

Darcy shrugged. "That would piss me off too."

--(Holy swinging spiders)--

"Okay, now we're at Castlevania." Prince Sky said. "Let's get to slaying vampires."

"Moron, this isn't Castlevania it's a village _near_ Castlevania." Brandon said. He waved a hand towards the old fashion Hungarian is like in many vampire movies. "And the castle is over **there**." He pointed towards the large horrific silhouette in a distance.

"And it says here," Diaspro said while reading a sign that was near the group. "That to get there you need to go through the twilight forest."

"Okay," Sky said while unsheathing his sword. "Let's go!"

While the hero dashed off the finished his quest of eternal love his squire held onto his cape holding him in one place while his betrove stood there crying at the stupid children she's going to have.

Dragging the "hero" behind them they walked into a nearby weapon shop, within was a wide walking space with a variety of weapons mounted with display cases and wall displays. The man who run this place was behind a counter.

"Hello," the man said. He seems like something out a old movie.

"Hi," Sky said with a dopey smile while waving.

"Do you have any weapons for taking on the creatures of the unholy day and night?" Brandon asked.

Diaspro was standing by a collection of maces, wondering if one of them can kill her in one hit.

"Why, we got quite a bit of it!" The salesman said while pulling out the standard Castlevania kit. Sky bumped into the wall and fell down to the floor, the man lean in and place a forearm onto the counter. "I assume you're going to need a lot of armor."

Brandon watched Sky get back up and wonder into the doorway sideways. He turn to the salesman, "or a helmet at least."

"I can spay him if you want," the salesman said. "To prevent little idiots running all over the place."

"Not necessary, I hope."

The salesman shrugged and open the SCK to reveal a huge assortment of crosses, whips, little magic hearts in a jar, spirits and condoms.

"Standard package, 20 dollars. The upgraded pack has bibles and ninja support. It cost 40 dollars"

"Ninja support?"

The salesman held up a apple than it was split into four pieces by a really fast ninja.

"I'll take the upgrade."

"What's this do?" Sky said while swinging around a mace, it collided with his head. After being dazed for a moment he continued on like nothing's damaged.

"And maybe a spaying."

--(Paging Mr. chech and/or chong)

Tecna stumble upon Bloom and Darcy sitting at the train station waiting for the train to Castlevania. She walked up to them, Darcy looked up and waved. Bloom stared at Tecna.

"I finally found you," Tecna said. "Now I can go home, and why are you here?" She pointed to Darcy.

"My sisters made me."

"Uh," Tecna said. "How did you trick Bloom into letting following her?"

Darcy arced her chest, causing Bloom to change views to Darcy. Tecna shrugged and Bloom return to her.

"Hell, I might as well join in." Tecna sat down next to Bloom.

"Hey, don't touch!" Darcy slapped Bloom's hand away.

Tecna raised a brow. Darcy lean forward and glared.

"Another minute," Tecna said before removing Bloom's hand.

A soda can rolled by, it was going to be a long night at the train station.


	6. Hsu and Chan Rip off O rama

Chapter 70; remember to refill the toilet paper after use.

"The train isn't coming, is it?" Bloom asked.

"Nope." Darcy replied.

"By my logic, no." Tecna said.

Bloom shrugged than bounced up and took on a heroic pose. "We'll walk the entire way to Castlevania!" Bloom walked up to the topside while Darcy and Tecna just sat there defeated, they slowly got up and followed the redhead's lead.

Sadly after leaving the train finally pulled in.

--(Got Blood?)--

"You want to marry him why?" Brandon asked while they followed Sky through the forest. The prince had plastered himself in stickers (ones that were shaped as crosses) while walking with the others.

"Because... No legit reason really."

"This isn't a very interesting conservation, is it?"

"Maybe someone else is doing something right now."

--(Good idea)--

"Who said that?" Diaspro said while looking around.

--(R.I.P. Dreamcast.)--

On top of Alfea's roof we find two of the Winx club fairies quietly observing life as it slowly eased by.

Observing life meaning they were throwing large water balloons at people walking by, but it was something to do.

"Hey look, a monkey!" Stella shouted as she threw a balloon towards a confused kid in a red stripped shirt. "Ah, isn't this a great way to spend a Tuesday."

"Tuesday," Flora said. "I thought it was a Saturday."

"Does it really matter here?"

"Good point." Flora raised a brow when she saw it. "HUP! Quick, a guy in a suit, one O'clock."

"Got him!" Stella said as she grabbed a balloon, arching her arm back and than launching the red ball of rubber and water sailed through the air. It impacted and spread clear liquid everywhere, the man was taken by surprise but he does nothing, in fact he just stands there facing away from the fairies.

"Good shot," Flora said. "Now let us view the inner workings of a human soul, toss me a sandwich."

The man stood there, there was a soft sound emitting from him as he slowly turned. His arm fell off as he raised it.

**_BOOM! BOOM! And other unused sound effects._**

Flora and Stella sat there stunned as two large shots had missed them. They logically did the only thing to do, they ran like hell.

"You think they would more receptive of a break in the monotony of life." Flora said while running for her life.

"He's some kind of robot!" Stella noted. "How unoriginal, boo!"

"I **said** we should get to a giant vat of boiling lead, but nooo_oo_**oo**, Ms. Fragonda wanted to get that stupid library vault."

Stella and Flora ran into a large corridor, it was kind of surprising that no one was around while this is going on. They jump behind a random desk, They grabbed a couple of army helmets while staying down during the blitz.

"Wait," Stella said. "I have an idea. Flora, quick get the potato cannon and Musa!"

"Huh?"

The robot was now only 5,000 feet away and inclosing.

"Musa," Stella said to Musa who had just appeared out of no where. "Do you want to do ol' Stella and Flora a favor?"

"Sure what?"

The robot was now only 4,000 feet away.

Flora had brought the potato cannon, Stella stood Musa in front of it than started the music fairy into the cannon with a stick. "God speed you braving annoyance."

The robot was only 3,000 feet away.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE"

The cannon was fired, a bright streak of annoying music shot through the hall and went through the robot, the music fairy kept going and going. Basically she didn't stop but the two fairies didn't pay attention.

Standing over the destroyed machine, "we've have learn a valuable lesson from his." Stella said.

"Right," Flora said. "I'll call the lead guy Monday."

"But now the question is who made this robot, and why," Flora said.

"I think I can answer that question," a mysterious voice said.

They both looked up to see a new figured.


	7. Electric Boogaloo

Chapter something or other: Now they're getting random.

"Who are you?"

"Come now, surly you can recognize the visage of... **MIMI HANYUU**, alias, **MIMETE**."

"Ooh," Stella said while she looked over the curly orange-ish gold blond haired girl. "Bolding, you must be important."

"Didn't anyone mention how much you look like Sailor Galaxia?" Flora asked.

"Yes, she's my mum. But that's not the point."

"There's a point to this madness?" Stella asked.

"Yes, you see there's a mad man on the loose and he wants to take over the world using robots disguised as business men so no one would suspect them."

"I mean to the story."

"Oh. No, not really."

"Well, good luck with defeating that mad man," Flora said while she and Stella walked away. Mimete was disheveled than run up to them.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Wait a minute, aren't you going to help me? I thought you were good guys, and fairies and how much to make you come along?" Mimete said training off towards the end.

"We get payed?" Flora said with stars in her eyes. "Did you hear that, we get payed for doing good for once!"

"Okay, we'll help you as long as we get payed."

--(Vroomy)--

"Alright, Billy beer!" Bloom said as she pulled out a can of beer from her coat. Instantly Darcy took it and chugged it down than toss the can over her shoulder. "Aw, that was going to make this quest so much easier."

"No, it wouldn't." Darcy said. "It didn't help me."

Tecna sighed, she followed behind while everyone else lead. They were in the forest of eternal night or something of the likes. "Maybe you should settle for someone else by now, Bloom. My feet are killing me and I'm tired!"

"What are you complaining about, Tecna," Bloom asked. "You're half android."

"But I'm still human," Tecna said while a river of tears rolled down her cheeks.

"We can rest when we get there." Darcy said.

"I hate my life some times."

"So do I," Bloom said.

--(Mummies sucks.)--

They have finally made it to the draw bridge of the dreaded castlevania. What awaited them was a battalion of vampires dressed in Roman armor wielding katzbalger swords (also known as bastard swords), and all were looking for blood.

"Okay, since this a quest to prove your true love to Bloom than go ahead and get us in there." Brandon said while pushing a very reluctant Sky towards the draw bridge. "Go ahead, don't worry about becoming a chew toy of the eternally damned."

"I changed my mind, I DON'T LOVE BLOOM! NOW LET ME GO!" Sky said while trying to run away. Diaspro was happy and crying tears of joy.

"Okay, how about Stella?" Brandon said.

"Nope. Hey I thought you were dating her?"

"I'm just trying something here. Okay, Tecna?"

"No."

"Flora?"

"Mirta would kill me."

"True, how about Musa."

Without warning the fairy of music came flying through the air, impaling the vampires as they jump to the side to avoid her. She disappeared into the darkness of the castle, leaving behind dead things everywhere.

"No."

"Diaspro?"

"Nope." Diaspro tears of joy turn to ones of sadness.

"Than who will you go in for?"

Sky stood bravely before charging in at full speed like a moron shouting who he was doing this for.

"**_"MMMEEEE!"_**

"You self center bastard!" Diaspro shouted as she and Brandon followed after.

--(Another bland joke)--

"Okay, we're here!" Bloom said before collapsing on the ground. "We rest for a moment."

"Yay!" Darcy and Tecna said before collapsing on the ground.

"Break over, we're going inside." Bloom said as she marched towards the castle's rear entrance.

"Boo!" Darcy and Tecna said as they stood up and followed.

--(Dr. Pepper.)--

"Here we are," Mimi said. "That's their hideout."

"An office building?" Stella said. "What is this guy doing, making them undercover as temps?"

"That's a cover, now we just need a way in."

"Leave that to me," Flora said as she transformed and slowly snuck up onto the building.

Adam West was just a simple guy, a lowly number cruncher that was doing his unusual routine while taking a sip of his coffee. Suddenly the window burst him and a large silhouette landed in front of him, a fist nailed him the face several times.

"GRR! Die terrorist scum!" Flora said as she pubble the poor guy. The door opened and Mimete and Stella rushed in.

"Flora. Stop! STOP!" Mimete said.

"Hey, how did you get in?" Flora asked.

"I got a visitors pass. This place rents out multiple spaces to a lot of companies, the one we want is on the top floor. This isn't it."

"Oh," Flora said while placing the savagely beaten man back into his chair. "You got lucky, but I'm watching you!"

Later on at the right office.

They stood there before the door marked "Fragonda's world domination Inc.."

"Okay, are we ready?" Mimete asked.

"Wo-hoo! Gratudious violence!" Flora said.

"I think so," Stella said scared of Flora.

Breaking down the door Mimete enter the entire story into _Action mode_ (C) nobody.

Sadly since this story is a outdated model it can't handle _Action mode_ (C) nobody. So our heroines finished off all of the robots.

"Hey what gives?" Stella asked while holding a baseball bat, "we finished early."

"Not yet," Mimete said. "We still have to deal with the creator of these things."

She walked over to a door marked "office" and busted down the door in dramatic form. "Fragonda! Your reign of terror ha- hey, where is she?"

"Ms. Fragonda has taken a lunch break. Do you want to wait for her?" The secretary said.

"Uh. Okay, sure."

--(Hooray for boobies!)--

She knew they were coming, the heroes were now entering her castle and she is very prepared for them. Well she had those monsters just standing around any way, so she might as well as use them.

Settling into her throne Carmilla smiled wickedly as she watch them all.

--(Due to a problem with recording the good part has been cut off.)--

"Well, we emerged victorious." Stella said.

"Granted it was three of us against a old lady, I wonder where Mimete disappeared to?"

"She's disappeared, like she arrived. But I have a feeling we'll met her again soon."

"Hope so," Flora said. "She didn't pay us."

"HEY!"


	8. Water water every let's have a drink

Chapter 999999999: Pain, oh the pain of it all!

"Okay," Diaspro said while she and Brandon stood behind Sky. "What do we do now smart guy?"

At the moment they were surrounded by monsters. Not the everyday type that wonder around Magix, but the type that wonder around hell. Making them more pissier, I guess.

"Relax, they're just zombies. I can handle a few zombies." Sky said while picking up a random stick that just appeared and pointed on, it magically turn to dust. "Why are you guys so worried."

Without warning - well, there was a warning about the size of Texas but it didn't penetrate that thick skull - the Grim Reaper floated down the hall. Using his syth he beat the living crap out of the prince than left.

"That's a good reason to cower," Brandon said. He took out his big badass sword, than basically tapped the zombies. "Stupid things, common, git!"

"Now, we just need that very expensive equipment that we bought in town." Diaspro said while looking for it, even lifting up a battered Sky to see if he had it. "Now where could it be?"

"I left it by the gate," Sky said while spitting out teeth. "Thought it would get in the way."

Diaspro and Brandon now were both standing over him and glaring, they were pretty pissed about the fact the stupidest member of the quest was in charge of the equipment (even though they didn't want him to be, they just gave him crap to be useful.)

"Well. Go get it!" Brandon said while pointing towards the draw bridge they just came through. Suddenly the bridge pulled up, leaving them with just their wits to fight the castle's evil residence.

"You are _so_ first to die." Diaspro said to Sky.

--(Se habla no engle.)--

Bloom whipped the skull of a hellhound. It fell to the ground in a bloody heap while the others watched.

"How are you able to whip evil creatures of hell to death?" Darcy asked.

"I'm not dead," the hellhound said.

"I don't know, I'm quite sure it has something to do with the dynamics of this whip or something." Bloom said while holding up said whip.

"I'm not dead."

"It is a mystery, the Belmonts was able to do it because of this mysterious power they have." Tecna said.

"I feel so happy," the hellhound said.

"Maybe this castle is giving me that type of power," Bloom said. "Or maybe this whip is."

"So very happy."

"Well we might as well continue on from here," Darcy said.

As the trio left the hellhound died. Greg will be missed by all.

--(3.66)--

"HA! I found a dagger!" Sky said as he picked up the item from the floor, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a glass jar with the heart items inside. "Now the playing field is even!"

Sky looked up at the on coming zombies than started to throw daggers like mad, each one had found their target. Sadly the zombies still stood there, only with daggers poking through them.

"I don't get it, why didn't the daggers hurt them? I thought anything could kill a zombie."

"That just proves how sucky the dagger is," Zombie A said. He and the zombie masses were destroyed by Diaspro when she breathed on them from a few feet.

"Damn it!" Sky shouted as he tossed the dagger a side, it struck a candle and caused a bouncing diamond to fall out. Angered Sky threw another dagger, another candle was hit and a axe fell out.

"Neat," Diaspro said when she threw an axe into a crowd of vampire soldiers awaiting for them in the next room.

Sky looked around, he threw a dagger towards a candle with a half-hearted "damn it". He let out a real one when a dagger fell out the candle.

--(99 dead baboons.)--

Bloom and her two reluctant helpers were now standing at the entry way to the outer wall. It was a sheer raise to the top with stairs leading upward.

"Finally, the clock tower." Bloom said, she manage to earn herself a hearty smack to the head by her two helpers. "What? What? What did I do?"

"This isn't the clock tower!" Both Tecna and Darcy started in, "it's the outer wall!"

"Alright, alright." Bloom said. "We might as well get going, we head straight up." Bloom than jumped up onto the stairs, that was about 1/3 of the way _up_ the wall. Both Darcy and Tecna stood their mouths open, "are you coming?"

Tecna and Darcy looked at each other than up the steps. Tecna transformed while Darcy floated upward and followed suit.

Bloom was already at the top. Darcy and Tecna followed as they enter...

**THE LONG LIBRARY!**


	9. Part Wha? Seven who? It's a massicure

Default chapter 36: Water, water everywhere; let's all have a drink.

Brandon looked around as he and Diaspro walked into the Marble Gallery. Sky followed closely by but slowed down by a zombie that was latched onto his ankle trying to bite him, he didn't noticed.

"So, where to now?" Diaspro asked. While looking around Sky stepped into a small area that had a table and two chairs facing each other, a ghostly form slowly took form. A young woman with long brown hair. She pulled out a dagger and stabs Sky.

"I think maybe we should go to the outer tower, or maybe the long library." Brandon said, he didn't notice prince Sky holding a huge, bleeding wound while he staggered around spray a fountain of red. hey, I made a pun!

**SPECIAL REPORT.**

Do to the bad pun the author has been shot, thank you.

**End of SPECIAL REPORT.**

"What was that about?" Diaspro asked.

"Who knows."

Sky sat down in the other chair and try to remember that healing spell. "Why didn't I pay attention? Oh, right; I had a mirror."

A ghostly form appeared, it was one of a priest sitting in the chair that Sky was previously sitting in. "What is troubling you, my son?" The ghost priest asked.

"Well, for starters," Sky said. "I'VE BEEN STABBED!"

The priest lean forward to look down at the gushing wound. He settled back into his chair, "I think I can help you."

"Really?"

The priest threw a cup of hot scolding tea into his face before disappearing.

"Why does everyone attack me?" Sky shouted while rolling around on the floor.

"We're going now," Brandon said while heading for the outer wall. "You coming?"

Sky got to his feet and wobbled while following the others. "I hate you two, you know that?"

"Pretty much."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure of it."

--(The LONG LIBRARY!)

"This isn't so bad," Tecna said as she took a seat behind a large desk to read a random book about the castle, in reality it was cleaver disguise for a playboy. "It's quite peaceful."

"Yeah, it's even more peaceful than the library at Cloud Tower." Darcy said while sitting down to read the complete works of H. P. Lovecraft.

Meanwhile Bloom was busy whipping armored skeletons that carried around their heads and haunted books that try to impale her with a ton of rusty blades that appear from it's pages. She ran away from the chimera beast that breaths fire and the large devil with "Die, muthafucka" in it's eyes.

"You idiots!" Bloom shouted while performing an item crash with a cross (creating a really cool special effect shot) that wiped out a lot of creatures. "Why aren't you helping me?" Bloom whip a werewolf several times than ran from a large axearomor.

"Help?" Darcy said slowly since the word was so feign to her, "don't know the meaning of the word."

"It's illogical in this situation to help." Tecna said. Soon she and Darcy were facing a Bloom that was so angry that her powerful aura made her a silhouette from hell.

"Of course logic isn't everything!" Tecna was scared.

"I can learn a new word everyday," Darcy said while cowering under a book.

They both charged into battle with the powers they were given, only to be bite, punched, kicked, clawed and pepper sprayed. When a cup of tea was thrown into their faces.

"Hmm, maybe on second thought I better do this alone." Bloom said while a chimera chased her two helpers.

"YA THINK!" Both Tecna and Darcy shouted.


	10. It's finally over, the evil is finally o...

Chapter Boobies: There was something going in the last chapter.

Well we've come around to the main villain of Castlevania, Carmilla. Who at the moment was in the kitchen area trying to get herself some food. And it wasn't turning out so well.

But enough about the surprise villain we turn to our trio of misfit heroes trying to figure a way out of the outer wall. Than it was decided to climb, well, have prince Sky climb up the stairs while the two helpers attached a platform to sit on, upward.

Once in the long library they wonder around the long and empty hallways, occasionally running into a random vampire or a head carrying ghost. Sky was the one that was often targeted, Diaspro and Brandon bashed in anything that try to kill them. Sky had a book impale him with a few dozen blades, causing him to bleed even more.

Sky slowly crawled with his friends, leaving a long trail of blood behind him.

"What's this?" Brandon looked around the room. Than he learn of a old man that looked like a Leonardo Michaelanlo, "oh, hello wiseman."

"Hello there, young one." The man said. "I am the librarian of this old, lost place of the forbid knowledge."

"Please," Sky said while laying on the floor bleeding. "Don't speak ye' old English."

"I see. What is thou's prepose here," Diaspro asked.

"I watch over these books and scrolls," he gestured towards the walls filled with books. "And provide a service to the minions of this castle."

"Really? Will you seal us some stuff?" Brandon asked.

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Pretty please."

"No."

"Come on."

"I'm sorry, but I sale only to the creatures of the night."

A bloody hand slammed onto the desk, Sky pulled himself up and reached over, grabbed the librarian by the front of his shirt and pulled him face to face.

"Listen to me, old man, I've been stabbed, scolded with hot tea, ignored by my friends and lost my girlfriends. Now, I suggest that you sale us something OR ELSE **I WILL TEAR YOUR EYES OUT _AND SHOVE THEM INTO YOU STINKING THROAT SO THAT CAN WATCH MY KICK YOU NECK IN_**!!"

"Okay..." The librarian said.

He handed them a items menu, Sky bought a elixir while the others got some pretty useful equipment.

"Now," Brandon said while looking over the muramasa sword. "Where is Carmilla?"

"She's in the ghostly theater, mostly but she goes to the kitchen and bathroom but they're close by."

Sky laughed while marching off. The other shrugged and followed.

--(Too-too, choo, choo!)--

Bloom and her helpers were now standing before the doors of...

**_THE GHOSTLY THEATER!_**

They prepared themselves for another room, Bloom kicked down the door and marched in. That's were she saw...

_**TO BE CONTINUED!**_


	11. But we lied

.sdrawkcab si siht: 11 retpahC

"Huh?"

"Wha?"

"Why?"

"Who?

"Why are you here?"

All of the heroes were standing there, before the large red stairs that lean up to the balconies of the theater.

"Why are you here?" Tecna asked Brandon.

"He's to prove his love to someone. He can't make up his mind."

"I am here to help a Bloom in proving her love." She watched Bloom taken in her "true love", Diaspro. "I don't know why I bother."

"Okay." Diaspro said. "Please get her off, please _get her off!_"

"I love you, Diaspro!" Bloom said with stars in her eyes.

"I love you," Sky sang into a microphone that lead to no where while a picture of his true _love_ appeared in the background. "RIVEN!"

"Oh gods, they've gotten stupider." Darcy said.

"I'm not that way, you idiot!" Diaspro snapped. "And I can never be that way, no matter how much I want to!"

Bloom let go. "Oh.. Alright." She latched onto Tecna with the same - possible more - passion that she had for Diaspro. "**L**_o_**v**_e_ **m**_e_!"

"I'm loved!" Tecna said with tears of joy in her eyes. "I'm actually loved!"

"Thank Buddha I have Stella," Brandon said while staring at the scene. "She's the _**sane**_ one."

That's when Carmilla walked in from the kitchen area carrying a slurpee. "Damn servants, what good are they if they can't make a decent magic omelet." She looked up and noticed the heroes.

"Aw, hell."

"What the?!" Darcy said.

"Musa, you're Carmilla?" Tecna shouted.

"Yes, and there's a perfectly logical explanation for this." Musa started.

"Hey everybody," Sky said while holding a surf board. "Surfs u-"

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

"Good shot," Diaspro said to Darcy, who was holding a smoking gun.

"Right, anyway," Carmilla/Musa said. "I became the evil entity of the castle for the reasons of my mother dying, I can't stand being around anyone any more and I basically just wanted to hurt people and be mean."

"That's no reason to turn into a evil being that will feed of the pain and misery of innocent people for eternity." Bloom said.

"And the fact people _still_ insist that the old Simpsons are better than the new Simpsons."

"Man, now I want to turn evil. But I must prove my love!" Bloom said while pulling out a stake than driving it through Musa's heart.

Thus the sage of Castlevania was ended. No really cool boss battles, no real plot twist or anything else.

"We got jipped!" Timmy said.

"I know, we only got one mean in the story." Riven said.

"No, I mean that ending sucked. All we got is a stake heart through the vampire?"

"If this was a real Castlevania/Winx Club crossover he would have tried much hard, now wouldn't he."

"Damn it... Hey! WE DID GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK!"

DNE EHT.


End file.
